Sunday Morning Coming Down
October 7, 2007 by msdane
I know, I’m shameless about stealing sayings and song titles. But that is what it is today, Sunday morning. After coming home Friday after work and taking to my bed, I’m ready to get up and take another shot at life. It sure can be a hard row to hoe. I’m right back where I was 30 years ago, no money, no decent job, a car that is getting clunky and apartment living. I really hate regressing like this, but I’ve had no choice in the matter. It seems I get foiled at every turn. But what choice do I have but to keep trying? Friday I just wanted to give up, today is another day and I’m ready to try some more. My therapist tells me I have amazing strength and resiliency. I don’t feel that I do, but it is like I do have to keep trying. The only other choice is to lie down and die.
Anyway, I sound terribly down here when I am really on my way back up–sort of.
I know things will work out, but I’m afraid at what cost? Will I lose my home? My things? Things I’ve worked hard for? I really can’t abide that thought. I need to find a decent job with benefits. That is the first step. Then I will go from there.
A couple of weeks ago I felt as though my mother was at my shoulder, smiling down on me and she felt really close. Now, it is just as before. She is gone and I miss her and need her advice but it is impossible to have now.
I have senior pictures for my son coming up too. We haven’t scheduled because we are waiting to get his braces off. He went to the Ortho the other day and they told him one more month.
My grandson has been ill but seems to be getting better, some viral thing going around to children.
And time marches on . . . . .
One Response to “Sunday Morning Coming Down”
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Life is a cycle…good times will come around again. I know what you are going through - when I moved down here I had no decent job, no benefits, etc. But I didn’t dwell on what I didn’t have, I focused on what I wanted and found a decent job after a few months. When I moved from Fort Myers to Sarasota, again I went about three months without a decent job and it was scary being somewhere where I knew virtually no one. But again, I thought about what I wanted and worked toward it.
The other night I realized that two of the jobs I thought I’d like over 10 years ago - I have now done. First was the Housing Authority - I applied to transfer to the IC one when I worked for the City but didn’t get the job. I thought it would be interesting to work with the underpriveleged.
I also applied for a 911 operator job there in IC at the police department that I did not get. I thought I’d enjoy working in law enforcement. Now here I am working that job.
Life is a cycle - history repeats itself - so you may be back at the beginning but that just means you have the opprotunity to find a job you really want to do.